Warning Warning, Adult Content:

I don't know what it is, but something in my sub-conscious just will not allow me to have a decent sex dream.

It's terrible. And suprisingly it's actually even more frustrating than not having dencent sex (if any at all these days) in reality.

What I would give for a decent, satisfying, mind blowing sex dream you have no idea. I hear my friends talk of their erotic adventures in the land of nod and I'm green with envy.

Why can't I have sex with a celebrity!? Hello! JOHN CUSACK WHERE ARE YOU?

Ugh.

My sex dreams, since I first started having them, are either very disturbing or extremely disappointing. Sometimes, I wake up just as I'm about to climax, or out nowhere, the guy grows a lizard's tounge which is then jammed down my throat, suffocating me rather uncomfortably.

It's even more awkward when the dream involves people that I know.

I once made the mistake of telling people about a rather disturbing dream I had involving a very good friend, and I have since barely lived it down.

The dream involved me lying in bed when all of a sudden my friend appears beside me. What starts with an embrace turns into the most clumsy and sloppy kiss, followed by a dismal attempt at foreplay. It was all going rather horribly when, and as if the situation could not get any worse, my mother walks in on us with the profoundly important message that I must clean my room.

Last nights dream, however, had to have taken the cake.

I found myself in a passionate rumble amongst the sheets with a different friend. It was sloppy, messy, and not at all enjoyable. Fortunately, my friend turned out to be a 1 minute man. Unfortunately, he also turned out to be rather full of himself.

After the act of...whatever the hell that was, he then lay back hooting and hollering with pride:

"Woooo! Yeah! That was great! That was incredible! Oh yeah, I'm good! You liked that didn't you. Yeah!"

I'm stunned, and then shocked as I realize that in that short space of time, there wasn't even any thought given to the use of protection.

"Did you wear a condom?" I ask my friend.
"Pffft. No."
"Ok, I haven't been on the pill for a while, so..we have a problem."
"No, no, that's not my problem."

Sex dream? SEX NIGHTMARE!

The amount of research that surronds the phenomena of night terrors and how to overcome them is astounding, in factits still being discussed today. Yet after all this, there is barely anything exploring the makings of a functional sex dream!?

Can we please shed some light on the humble sex dream please!

As every woman deserves an orgasm, the basic right to a decent sex dream should be realized and, more importantly, accessible.

Lets make this a better world people!