Question: How do you deal with confrontation?
I'm not talking about the tragic 'my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend and I'm going to cut his balls off and kill the bitch' sort of confrontation. Obviously, those sorts of situations call for drastic action and reaction.
I'm more or less referring to small incidental 'hey don't be suck a cock-bag man' type confrontations.
Not long ago, I think it was the Saturday that had just passed, I found myself having brunch with a couple of friends at a place in Fitzroy. It was a hot day, we were all tired and grumpy, but we all persevered, because the food looked and smelled amazing. And it was. I had french toast with poached pears, vanilla bean yogurt and maple syrup. Yum yum. But although the food was great, the waiter was an arsehole, and just for no real reason at all, antagonizing someone on account of a food allergy, bumping into other customers and getting shirty with them for being in his way. You know, just a real prick.
That sort of stuff pisses me off.
Working in hospitality or retail is never easy, I know. You quickly loose your faith in humanity. People are rude to you and you're often the brunt of people's bad mood for no good reason at all. But despite all that, you're still nice to that customer. Why? Because at the end of the day, they're the ones putting money in my bank account. The way I see, small price to pay.
Which is why it pisses me off when I come across useless fuckwit service, and a waiter who's a dick and a smart arse. What's his excuse?
Did I confront him on his behaviour? No.
Did anyone else at the table? No.
What we did was smile to his face and then whisper as he walked away about what a wanker the guy was.
And why didn't we say something? What would have happened then? If we said: "No, we don't accept this "orange juice" that you've given us. It's not good enough that there was carrot and ginger residue in the juicer and that's why this orange juice does not look like orange juice, please go back and make a fresh one" would he have really thrown us out for that?
Why didn't we tell someone when we went to pay for our food that whilst the food was awesome, the particular waiter who served us wasn't? What's the worst that could have happened?
I suppose in cases like these, it's best to let sleeping dogs lie, maybe. A friend of mine had an incident were she received a pretty third rate breakfast after explicitly being refused her first order. She originally wanted to go with scrambled eggs with hollandaise sauce. The chef refused her order, claiming the hollandaise sauce will curdle in her stomach and make her sick. My was friend quite perplexed at this, as she has had the exact same order in other restaurants before with no hassle. Nonetheless, she opted for something else rather than make a fuss. What she then received was burnt toast, over cooked eggs and soggy sides. My friend ate what she could, paid for her meal, and then wrote a little note on a napkin for the chef saying that she was not pleased with her meal and would not be coming back again.
She was half- way down the street when the chef ran after her, waving the napkin in her face demanding an explanation.
Nothing really was resolved, my friend still walked away angry, and for all we know, the chef is still cooking the same crap not at all altered by any bad critique she may receive.
Today at the beach, however, I saw something inspirational. Being a hot day, it's safe to say that it was pretty crowded, and Half Moon Bay today was no exception. Of course, in any event, no matter where you are, you will always encounter a beef-cake pack of yahoos who strut around treating the beach more like their territory rather than a space to share with others. I could go into detail about the array of horrific tattoos and gold chains on display, but that's another rant entirely.
Quietly settling down to read my book, I have managed to block out most of the yahoo business and retreat into my own little world. Whilst there, I failed to notice that the group were making rather nasty pigs of themselves, and decided to throw their empty cigarette packs and ice- cream wrappers in the sand.
A young woman, having seen this, approached them and said, quite simply: "Excuse me fellas, but just letting you know, the bin's over there." And she pointed in the direction of the bins, which were a metre away.
The group then arched up. Their mentality was that nobody had the right to tell them what to do, least of all this girl. They threw their rubbish in a pile in front of her and said: "We've left this all just for you. You can clean it up if you like. Don't forget to take it with you when you leave alright baby!"
And with a "You're disgusting." She turned her back and walked away.
Nothing really was solved in her actions. The rubbish was still left there for someone to pick up, and the blokes still went about their business, thinking they were rightful kings of all they surveyed.
Thinking of the girl however, perhaps she feels a little better for having at least tried to have done something about it. She saw someone doing something she thought was wrong, and she spoke up. And even though she was rudely ridiculed without anybody defending her, she still stuck to her guns.
Maybe one of the pack will go home tonight feeling slightly ashamed for making a dick of themselves, but perhaps that is just too much to ask of some people.
One things for sure, I bet that girl is going to sleep well tonight having no regrets at all, and I retire inspired, just waiting to pounce on the next opportunity for a small confrontation.
Mind you, I'll probably go ape shit at some poor sod who doesn't really deserve it, but you know, baby steps with these things, baby steps.
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