What Australian Television?

To quote a friend's facebook status:

"H------ C------ knows that she just wasted 2 hours of her life watching the Maria Korp story. But it does beg the question, WHAT THE HELL IS WITH AUSTRALIAN TELEVISION."

I was asking myself the very same question this morning. I believe that in an earlier post I made a complaint against the Australian content free to air viewers are subjected to on commercial channels.

In recent years we've seen Channel 9 recycle it's 'Underbelly' series like its going out of fashion, Channel 10 hoeing into reality television competitions that they are beginning to cross pollinate, and Channel 7 making their own generic versions of the same shit. The latest offering to come from them is "The Bounce", a football variety show in the same guise of The Footy Show and that other show on Channel 10. 'The Bounce' will be hosted by Peter Helliar.

I am pretty close to throwing my television out of my window.

People! Join me on this one. I believe between the however many thousands of us combined, I am sure we have more than enough talent between us to write and produce original Australian content of some sort of integrity. Surely that's possible. Let's work together so that Peter Helliar doesn't have to. For the good of the country, let's make it so!

RE: Winter Olympics Coverage

Dear Channel 9,

First of all, may I congratulate you on taking the initiative of exclusively covering the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics for free to air television. I personally am a fan of the Winter Olympics and am excited to see it on my telly.

That's as far as that complement goes. That will also be my only compliment.

I'm basically looking for answers.

1. Who's responsible for putting together your "commentary team"?

Out of the 22 people you have on your "expert and opinion" panel, only 2 are actual winter Olympians. And even then, what expertise can they offer? I haven't seen any expert opinion from Alisa Camplin since her advice on chewing Extra for healthy teeth and guns. And Steven Bradbury? Really? I know Australians have a sense of humour and all but...really?

2. This is not so much a question as it is a fact: Gian Rooney and Grant Hackett are swimmers. Just thought you would like to know. You do realise the only water about this particular Olympics is ice and snow right?

3. What is it with you and the Stevanovic family? They've got dirt on you don't they? They've got photos of you in compromising positions, and threaten you with them everyday, don't they? I refuse to believe they actually qualify as journalists.

4. Mick Molloy is not funny, when will you learn?

5. My non-existent left nut knows more about the Winter Olympics than Eddie McGuire. Why? Why would you put him on there? Has he ever played a sport in his life? Honestly, what made you look at him and think: "Here's a guy who knows his winter sports." I doubt the man has built a snowman, and even if he has, I bet he was still confused over the process. He's a moron.

And finally, if I hear: "This is exactly the sort of pressure that Cathy Freeman was under", I swear to god...

Kind Regards,

V.