Dear Channel 9,
First of all, may I congratulate you on taking the initiative of exclusively covering the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics for free to air television. I personally am a fan of the Winter Olympics and am excited to see it on my telly.
That's as far as that complement goes. That will also be my only compliment.
I'm basically looking for answers.
1. Who's responsible for putting together your "commentary team"?
Out of the 22 people you have on your "expert and opinion" panel, only 2 are actual winter Olympians. And even then, what expertise can they offer? I haven't seen any expert opinion from Alisa Camplin since her advice on chewing Extra for healthy teeth and guns. And Steven Bradbury? Really? I know Australians have a sense of humour and all but...really?
2. This is not so much a question as it is a fact: Gian Rooney and Grant Hackett are swimmers. Just thought you would like to know. You do realise the only water about this particular Olympics is ice and snow right?
3. What is it with you and the Stevanovic family? They've got dirt on you don't they? They've got photos of you in compromising positions, and threaten you with them everyday, don't they? I refuse to believe they actually qualify as journalists.
4. Mick Molloy is not funny, when will you learn?
5. My non-existent left nut knows more about the Winter Olympics than Eddie McGuire. Why? Why would you put him on there? Has he ever played a sport in his life? Honestly, what made you look at him and think: "Here's a guy who knows his winter sports." I doubt the man has built a snowman, and even if he has, I bet he was still confused over the process. He's a moron.
And finally, if I hear: "This is exactly the sort of pressure that Cathy Freeman was under", I swear to god...
Kind Regards,
V.
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