One night, at Kouzina

I've mentioned this before, going out to lunch or dinner with dad often presents lack lustre company at times, and even more lack lustre food. Last night's dinner was, of course, no exception.

Now, please don't think of me as a snob. I love a good restaurant/bar as much as the next person, but the word "good" is a huge requirement if I'm going to have any chance of enjoying it. Now, I'm not a food critic, and I hardly think that being addicted to Masterchef really qualifies me of being some kind of food expert, however, I guarantee you that this place was pretty bad by anyone's standard.

First, the service. Rude. And to be honest, after having a rather hard day of having to fend off a rude customer that night, I was hardly going to go to a restaurant to fend off a rude waiter. Getting a mere glass of water seemed like such a hard task for the staff. Nobody offered, and when you went to ask they would talk over you and walk off before you even finished the question. I did however get a pot of peppermint tea near the end of the night, but was told to be careful drinking it, because "pouring and drinking tea can be tricky, you could spill it on yourself."

Second, the main. We all ordered the same thing, the salt and pepper calamari, which bothered me a little because that's just my personal pet peeve. I've always had this thing that when you go out to eat, everyone should get something different from the menu so that you have more of a variety on the table when you pick at someone else's dish, and also that you make the most of what you eat. I was going to change my mind, but at this point I was so damn hungry I didn't care. But let's put that aside, because that's not the point. The point is to tell you about the dish, not my pet peeves. So, the salt and pepper calamari. There really was no salt and pepper on it, but there was plenty of batter. The lemon wedge came covered in chives and dill. There was an 'ouzo aioli' which tasted like mayo from a jar with nothing else infused in it, and the 'fresh garden salad' was anything but. I ate it because I was starving, and compared to what I had next, it wasn't too bad.

Third, the creme brulee. I saw it on the menu and had to have it. I love creme brulee. However it wasn't until I ordered it that I realised it was a Fig and Rosemary creme brulee, which came with a pistachio ice-cream (not too bad) with some sort of pink musk meringue concoction on the top. In the middle of the plate there were candied olives...not my thing. Anyone out there have candied olives? Be interested to know whether you like them. I thought they were pretty foul. And then comes the creme brulee, with a sprig of rosemary perched in the middle. The ever exciting crack of the brulee was dull, as the spoon bounced off the custard goo. Initially all you can taste is rosemary, and then further on down there was this clump of fig sitting there in the middle, grey and bland.

It was really atrocious. Who thought up of this dessert? What is wrong with just serving a creme brulee? Did the chef who came up with this dish burn his taste buds?

Someone once asked me the question, would I prefer a bad sex or bad food. My answer was that I have had bad sex before and come to expect it more in my life time than bad food. After last night, my answer is definite. I would rather have a life of bad sex than bad food. Bad sex does not sit heavy in your stomach churning and begging to brought back up again. Bad sex is something you can get over, bad food stays with you for a little bit longer.