What's my age again?

Scene: Bookshop

Cast: Me
Shop Assistant

Time: Present

I (who is me) waltz on into the bookshop looking to finally finish my Christmas shopping in the hopes that I (again, me) will actually get to sleep tonight. After half an hour of neck bending book spine browsing, I (me...of fuck it you get the point) finally make my selection and wander on over to the cash register where I meet a sprite young shop assistant waiting to assess the damage these purchases are going to take on my wallet.

ME: Hi how are you?

SHOP ASSISTANT: I'm fine thanks, how are you?

ME: I'm excellent thank you, just these if I could, please.

I hand her the books

SHOP ASSISTANT: Excellent you say? Now that's a word you don't hear all too often. At least when people describe themselves that is.

ME: Yes, indeed.

SHOP ASSISTANT: It such a lovely word too. Makes me smile. When you just told me you were excellent, I felt so much more happier!

ME: Oh, well, that's great!

SHOP ASSISTANT: Yes! Ha ha ha. That will be $82 something or other.

ME: Excellent, can I put that on savings?

SHOP ASSISTANT: Oh! You said it again!

ME: Oh, why yes I did!

Giggles ensue

ME: I suppose it's my favourite word on some sub- conscious level.

SHOP ASSISTANT: I quite like fabulous actually.

ME: That's a pretty good word to.

SHOP ASSISTANT: Oh yes fabulous darling.

ME: Like Patsy and Edina.

SHOP ASSISTANT: Who?

silence


ME: Patsy and Edina, from Ab Fab.

SHOP ASSISTANT: ....I....don't...know what that is.....

ME: Oh.

SHOP ASSISTANT: I'm 16.

ME: Oh

SHOP ASSISTANT: I was thinking more Kiera Knightly from The Duchess.

ME: I hate her. Thanks for my books. Have a good one.

End Scene